Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid To Leave Home
A few months ago, when I realized I didn’t get the internship I had planned everything around getting, I decided that I wanted to move to California from Maryland after graduation to find any job I could, but more importantly, to “find myself.”
It was pretty surprising how much support I got as I told people about my grand plans to move to a new city and figure things out as I went. Turns out when you’re twenty-two and have just graduated college, the world really is your oyster, and people will step out of your way when they see you taking advantage of your freedom from responsibilities. I’ve been away from the east coast in San Francisco for a month now, and every time I find myself telling people the story of how I ended up here, they seem impressed, or make some sort of comment about how they wish they had the clarity to pick up and go somewhere new when they were my age.
To be honest, I have no idea what I’m really doing. I work as a server in two restaurants and have a part-time job walking dogs for an app called Wag! (it’s basically the dog-walking version of Uber), and sometimes when I get motivation I do Google searches about how to become a freelance writer, or post a link to my online portfolio on Facebook and LinkedIn hoping to reach an audience (speaking of which — cashourportfolio.blogspot.com — check it out). But I know that what I’m not doing is staying stagnant. As confusing as it’s been to move to a new city with almost no tangible plans for the future, it’s also been extremely refreshing. You don’t really realize how quickly you can get set into a routine until you’re taken completely out of it.
I have relationships back home that it’s been hard to be away from. And pretty much every day here means meeting someone new or going to a place I haven’t been to before, which is wonderful and interesting, but can also be tiring and stressful. The other day I found myself sitting on the Muni (basically the subway for those of you who don’t know, aka me three weeks ago) staring at a group of teenage girls as they joked around about science homework or something, and wishing I was back around a community again. It can be fun to talk about how you met your boyfriend back home to your brand new coworker at your brand new job, but sometimes it can feel exhausting to have to constantly explain yourself.
But to be honest, I wouldn’t go back home now even if someone offered to buy me a one-way ticket. Not only would that feel like letting everyone who’s believed in me down, but it would also feel like letting myself down. I left home to get away from everything I’m used to. And sure, I expected things to be easy, but I was also prepared for things to get difficult. I was prepared to miss my mom and my boyfriend, and to wish I could go home and adopt a dog, and to miss being able to buy an order of french fries at a restaurant for less than $6. I was also prepared to constantly meet new people, and to feel lucky enough to live in a place where opportunity really does come and knock on your door.
What I wasn’t prepared for was the constant support. The other day, I hung out with one of my cousins who was visiting from the east coast. He told me about his experiences bouncing around for the past year, and how he had extended his stay in California because he wanted to look for jobs here. He also told me that hearing I had picked up everything and moved myself out to the west coast had been a huge factor in giving him the courage to come out here. I was kind of shocked, me deciding to chance life elsewhere at the expense of developing my life and relationships at home seemed like nothing more than an experiment, and yet here was someone six years older than me telling me he admired my decision and used it as a motivation.
I guess what I’m trying to say here is that it doesn’t take a lot to make a big change in your life. And even if you feel like a mediocre college grad without any clear plans for the future, you shouldn’t be afraid to take leaps. I don’t really know what I’m doing with life right now, but it turns out, most of the people I talk to about this feel the same way as me. And in a way, that’s the most motivating thing of all.
